if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do vagina's smell?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
