I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
