HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
