I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Of course I have a pirate flag
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize