im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
