She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's shark week go big or go home
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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