hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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