Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
