Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize