Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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