She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
