Are we in a gay sports bar?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
