I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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