Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
