sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
