Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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