Jerry, you need to find god
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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