I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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