his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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