community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
