I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
