wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
