dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
birth control should be required to get into college
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
