i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
