No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
