have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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