dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
