She announced her abortion via fbk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
