so explain again why im purple
no
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need to calm my uterus...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
