My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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