I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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