I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
