i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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