it wasn't lemon gatorade
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
