I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
