doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I skipped work to stalk him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
