Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
