I need help removing her.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
