Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
