so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
