SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
