They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
