remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
