and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
operation have a gay friend backfired
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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