Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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