Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
