That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
