A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
