i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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