when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Randomize
