I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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