So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
