I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
