when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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