Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
and you fell through a lawn chair
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
