I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
