Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
