oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
