Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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