My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
