like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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