In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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