I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My penis needs a shock collar
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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