awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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