On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize