Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Houston, we have a squirter
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
