She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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