Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
