my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
